wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
