Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
