We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
