my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
