dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
