just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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