Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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