I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
