Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Send help, water and tortillas.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
