Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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