wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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