you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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