I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
