Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
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When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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