I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
