my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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