The maid of honor just puked.
Porn is love you can see.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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