Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
