He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
