grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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