Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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