There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You smell like stripper and shame
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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