Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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