i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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