I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
