Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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