still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
