so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
