Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
