i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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