also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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