you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
