no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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