nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize