3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
