I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
