and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
