He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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