Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
