we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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