WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize