I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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