Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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