I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
