She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
