i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
