I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
