just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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