Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.