Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.