I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
