I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream