New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.