one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again