I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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