I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
