North Korea, Best Korea!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
