sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
