There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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